


The Thoughts of a Dead Man

by WalterWhite



Series: Thoughts. [1]
Category: Death Note
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-20 00:30:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WalterWhite/pseuds/WalterWhite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>L looks back on his time with Light as he watched Light's final moments from above. 1st person, L's POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Thoughts of a Dead Man

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever Death Note fanfic. It's still my most popular fic to date (I don't know why, maybe because of the popular fandom?) and I hope you guys enjoy it. Oh by the way, I haven't stated where L is properly. He's basically in heaven. I added heaven in there because in a world with Shinigami flying about, I thought that it was plausible.

I should’ve taken some sort of delight out of seeing the smirk appear on his face. The fact that it was there at all had proved everything. Light was Kira.

But happiness was not what I felt. An overwhelming sadness overcame me instead, along with something else. I couldn’t identify what the emotion was back then.  I just knew that it was there.

Now, as I watch his exploits from above- I remember. The way he worked, his manipulations, the way he was always one step ahead of his enemies, including me.  He was my rival, the only one worthy enough of challenging me. The only one capable of engaging me.

I can recall the glimmer in his eye, which only appeared when he had a stroke of genius; like his idea to bring down Yotsuba, and the plans that eventually bought me down. I can even see the way he would rest his hands on his temples, when things just weren’t going his way. And lastly, I can evoke the pure hate I saw in his eyes, reserved just for me.

 He possessed other qualities too. Better ones which didn’t involve the death of someone.

When he smiled at me- I smiled back. When he wanted to talk about something, even as trivial as his relationship with Miss Amane- I would listen. When he would stare at me- I would stare back and vice versa. I would talk about something as trivial as cake and then he would feign interest for me- like he actually cared. I know he didn’t though, because when he spoke of Miss Amane, I would display the same amount of fake interest as he did when I spoke about sweets. We were humouring each other because that’s what friends did. The best moments we shared though, were when we had nothing to say at all. We were able to sit in complete silence and understand each other without any communication whatsoever. We didn’t need to talk, we had an understanding and we both knew what the other one was. We were essentially two sides of the same coin.

I didn’t ask him to join the task force just for the help. I asked him to join for company.

After observing him through a secondary resource, I had no doubt about who he was. I didn’t care though, well in that moment I didn’t. He was too hypnotising to watch and I couldn’t settle for observing him candidly anymore. Kira or not, I was trapped. I was intrigued. No, it was more than that- I was excited. I had found someone who was so methodical, smart, talented and well…like me. Even if it was for a short while, I knew that I needed Light Yagami in my life.

The months had passed by and I was a man obsessed. I even went as far as to chain myself to him (for safety reasons of course); it was complete madness. However, it was a type of madness that I wouldn’t alter for the world. We joked, we fought and we worked. It was our cycle, our relationship and it worked. It was us. No one else would have understood it, and let’s face it, no one could. We were people who rarely bonded with others. Finding one another in this vast world was nothing short of a miracle.  

As the game of cat and mouse became serious, I knew that my stupid fixation with him had to end. My life, among others was at stake. I wasn’t sure how to go about this, but it seemed like Light was having trouble ending the friendship too. On the day I died, I can remember how distant he was, as if he was not at all present. From this I had already guessed that he had something in the works, something that would inevitably end my life. So I did what any friend would do and comforted him. I let him know that it was okay- that I was okay with it. I informed him that we would be parting ways soon. With those words, he knew that I knew what was coming- my death. He didn’t need to explain and neither did I, we were natural enemies after all. It was the way it was always meant to be, Kira vs. L.

Now I’m up here watching his final moments play out, his world of lies unravel. He doesn’t even repent. Nor does he need to. He’s too far gone to understand repentance and too far gone to save.

Now I remember what I felt in those final moments, the pang in my chest. It was regret. Kira was my enemy, but Light was my friend. I was murdered by my friend, my only friend. I regret not saving him before he lost his humanity. Now his fate is one worse than death. I was meant to save people from Kira, but I had failed because I couldn’t save the one person who was affected by him the most.


End file.
